New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
