Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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