I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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