Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
