I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
