I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
