There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
