I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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