Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
