YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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