he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize