we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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