Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
is it fun? or sober?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
