I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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