So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize