I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me