What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
