if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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