3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
