he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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