I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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