you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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