I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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