the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
