The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
