we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
