Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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