I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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