i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
