marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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