ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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