We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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