i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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