The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
