Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
