we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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