Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
