I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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