pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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