ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
