Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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