The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
