I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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