Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
