Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
