and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
