Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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