:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
