i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
