he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize