At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
