I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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