went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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