My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
