This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
