Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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