Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
