I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
